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If you truly want to be your best you, to have a happy and healthy life, you need to learn how to set boundaries. Boundaries are being clear about what your limits are, and they are necessary to ensure you don’t get overwhelmed by the demands of other people.
Without boundaries, you are likely to be overburdened, stressed, and resentful, and it’s up to you to set and maintain your limits. You are the only one responsible for your happiness and wellbeing. No one else can do it for you.
Why do we Even Need Limits
The other day we had a Girl’s Breakfast get together at a friend’s home and we all seemed to have the same issue in common, learning to have self-love! We tend to do everything for everyone except ourselves. We leave ourselves in the back burner and don’t give ourselves enough credit or time for ourselves.
One of my friend’s owns a roofing company along with her husband and since she went in, she kept getting phone calls from clients, the roofers and even her husband.
Just any little detail or question they had, she was the go-to person. I see how overwhelmed she gets even with her assistant helping her. At times like this is when sometimes as women we just want to throw in the towel and let go of things or people. That’s when we all agreed that we all have our limits and boundaries we each need to consider and take into account.
If you find it hard to say no, and it’s affecting your wellbeing, you need to stop and recalibrate.
Here are some key elements for creating healthy boundaries:
Know Your Limits
Knowing yourself is the key to creating and maintaining good boundaries. Know your emotional, mental, and physical limits. Work out what makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed and what feels good. Sometimes as women we tend to put too much on our plates which then causes us to burn out. Don’t OVER push yourself.
YES, we can do all things, but we don’t want to overwhelm ourselves either!
Learn How to Read Your Feelings
In assessing where your limits are, you will have felt a range of different emotions. Two key emotions that signal that your boundaries are being crossed are resentment and discomfort.
If you feel you’re being taken advantage of, not appreciated, or even being exploited, that’s a sign you’re being pushed beyond your boundaries, and it’s time to reassert those boundaries and say no. As difficult as this may sound, saying no is sometimes the best way to control not feeling resentful.
Enforce Your Boundaries
It’s okay to say no.
In fact, it’s necessary for your self-respect to maintain your boundaries and refuse an unwelcomed request. There is no room for guilt or self-doubt in this. Having clear boundaries and sticking to them is not selfish. In putting yourself first, you’re ensuring that you will have the energy to do the things you want to do and be there for people when it’s right for you.
Make Clear Negotiations
Know what you need to stay happy and healthy, whether it’s your daily walk, a gym session, an art class or getting together with girlfriends. Make it clear that these are non-negotiable parts of your daily schedule. Similarly, be clear that you won’t host family parties, but you will contribute with food or drinks. Being clear and direct about your boundaries leaves no room for doubt, guilt, or leverage.
When you’re clear about your boundaries, you don’t need an excuse, a backstory, or a note from your mother. Be direct and leave it at that. You can be polite and kind about it, but in the end, it’s okay just to say no and keep your boundaries strong.
If you want to live a healthier and happier life and not feel resentful or have self-love, keep in mind these 5 key elements and enjoy “me time”. Even if it’s 5 minutes locked in the restroom just letting go of all uncertainties and having positive self-talk. Keep your boundaries abroad and don’t be afraid to say NO!
How about you, what do you do to keep your sanity and not over stress yourself?
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